Tactfully Asking Your Parents For Money

Forget that old rule that weddings are paid for by the parents of the bride. That time has passed. As the marrying age has gone up, so has the amount that the couple contributes to their own nuptials. And while parents on both sides still often contribute, don’t automatically assume that they will give you carte blanche for your wedding.

Then comes the “fun” part of asking the parents if they are interested in contributing. Don’t make one person do all of the asking. Each one of you gets to ask your own parents.

How to Ask Parents for Money

First of all, you should ask to have a conversation with your parents. Don’t spring it on them! Ask, “When would be a good time to talk to you both about whether or not you’d like to help cover the cost for the wedding?” Ask first if they would like to contribute, not how much they want to contribute.

Show your parents ideas of the type of wedding that you are looking to create, how much it will cost, and how much you and your fiancé(e) can contribute. Then ask if they would consider contributing a set amount to fund a specific part of the wedding in lieu of giving you a gift. And don’t expect them to have the money right on the spot. Tell your parents to take some time to think about it because weddings can be expensive.

Regardless of their answer, make them feel comfortable with whatever they decide. Remember, this is your event, not theirs. They shouldn’t have to go into debt for your wedding day, no matter how important you feel it is to have a designer gown or a full five-course dinner with open bar for everyone you know.

The best attitude is to appreciate when anyone contributes in any way at all–whether it’s helping you plan and prepare or giving you money to help with costs–Be grateful.

May 22, 2012May 21, 2012

Tips For Choosing Your Wedding Vows

You should take your time when deciding on your wedding vows and personalize them to suit you and your partner and don’t be influenced by what other people expect you to do.

This is one of the most important parts of the wedding because it is after the recital of your vows that you will be officially married.

More and more people are becoming very creative with their wedding vows and this adds a personal touch that represents what you and your partner believe your marriage means to the both of you.

It is a chance for you to both express your true thoughts on why you are getting married and what it will mean for you in the future.

Here are the typical wedding vows…

“I [your name] take you [your partners name] for my lawful [wife/husband] to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”

Many people use these traditional vows as the foundation that they will modify to suit their needs by adding personalized touches where they like.

Some people find the traditional vows a bit too formal and the wording no longer appropriate to get the true meaning of their care for one another across. If that’s the way you feel then changing them is the right solution for you.

These words are more important than all the wedding speeches combined so it is well worth spending as much time as necessary to come up with something that is really special.

Get ideas from books and poetry and songs. Bounce ideas off one another and you will soon know when you have hit the perfect combination that will lead you into your married life.

Just remember to never stop having fun because that’s what it’s all about – getting the most happiness in your life by sharing it with someone you love.

March 28, 2012May 3, 2012

{Blunders to Steer Clear Of} Wedding Overload

Today we’re back with a continuation of our series, Blunders To Steer Clear Of After Getting Engaged

Mistake number two: – Taking On Too Much, Too Fast

Hooray, it’s happened! He proposed, you said Yes! You get to start planning the wedding of your dreams.

Pull out that dream wedding album you started when you were a little girl. You documented your ideas, designs and dreams for your big day in one little book that you’ve kept tucked under your bed since then. You’ve most likely hit the ground running and you want the whole world to know you’re engaged! You obsessively search blogs, magazines and Google things for your wedding until your brain feels like it’s going to explode!

Continue reading “{Blunders to Steer Clear Of} Wedding Overload”

March 16, 2012May 2, 2012

Blunders To Steer Clear Of After Getting Engaged

Today is our first in a series. We’ll be talking about avoiding some common mistakes newly engaged couples tend to make.

If you’ve recently gotten engaged, congratulations! As you’re fresh off of your big engagement news and made the choice to get married, it’s fairly certain that you’ll be fired up and psyched about the actual marriage proposal. After all, it’s an occasion that you both will remember (and re-tell your story of getting engaged) for the rest of your lives — as well as one that you’ve probably been fantasizing about since you watched your first Disney princess movie. You know you’ve looked forward to your wedding day since you were a little girl playing dress-up and practicing your walk down the aisle. In a nutshell: You’ll be deliriously happy, purely for the proposal itself, but don’t let your nerves lead you to make one of these all-too-common marriage proposal mistakes. Loosen-up and chill out. Take a moment to relish in this wonderful time in your lives. Relax and read about some common mistakes recently engaged couples make so that you can avoid them as you plan for your perfect wedding. Doing so will help you limit your tension, irritation and frustration as you prepare for your own special day.

Mistake number one: Wedding Guest Drama

Now, you really don’t want to start off inviting everybody you know to your big event. As soon as you do, you really have no way to tactfully un-invite them. You also must be aware of how many people your groom and his family will want to invite for their side of the guest list. Unless you are made of money you will most likely not be inviting everyone you, your fiancé, your parents and your fiancé’s parents have ever known or ever will know to your wedding. You may not have any real concrete plans or thoughts to what your wedding style or budget are just yet, or how considerable the expenses could be. You might be thinking that your wedding should be a big bash that the whole town will want to attend but your “honey” may have a different idea of what the wedding should be. While you may have dreams of a “Rock Star” (i.e. mega bucks) style wedding, he may have more of an intimate(i.e. less costly) wedding. Your budget will help to shape up your guest list and determine the number of invited wedding guests and sad to say, you are bound to let down someone. Do your very best to invite those closest to you and your fiancé. Parents, as a courtesy should have a say too, most definitely if they are helping to pay for the wedding. Be willing to work it out and make a deal but know that it is YOUR wedding So, keep away from making any promises. Just until you both agree on a wedding and reception spending plan. You will be grateful you did!

Next week we’ll be back and talk about avoiding WEDDING OVERLOAD – taking on too much, too fast.