Tactfully Asking Your Parents For Money

 

 

Forget that old rule that weddings are paid for by the parents of the bride.  That time has passed.  As the marrying age has gone up, so has the amount that the couple contributes to their own nuptials.  And while parents on both sides still often contribute, don’t automatically assume that they will give you carte blanche for your wedding.

Then comes the “fun” part of asking the parents if they are interested in contributing.  Don’t make one person do all of the asking.  Each one of you gets to ask your own parents.

 

How to Ask Parents for Money

First of all, you should ask to have a conversation with your parents. Don’t spring it on them!  Ask, “When would be a good time to talk to you both about whether or not you’d like to help cover the cost for the wedding?” Ask first if they would like to contribute, not how much they want to contribute.

Show your parents ideas of the type of wedding that you are looking to create, how much it will cost, and how much you and your fiancé(e) can contribute.  Then ask if they would consider contributing a set amount to fund a specific part of the wedding in lieu of giving you a gift. And don’t expect them to have the money right on the spot. Tell your parents to take some time to think about it because weddings can be expensive.

Regardless of their answer, make them feel comfortable with whatever they decide.  Remember, this is your event, not theirs.  They shouldn’t have to go into debt for your wedding day, no matter how important you feel it is to have a designer gown or a full five-course dinner with open bar for everyone you know.

The best attitude is to appreciate when anyone contributes in any way at all–whether it’s helping you plan and prepare or giving you money to help with costs–Be grateful.

 

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50’s Inspired Wedding Dresses

Are Shorter Hemlines Making A Comeback?

So, you want to wear something new on your wedding day but you still want to have that vintage vibe, then your best bet is to go for a vintage inspired wedding dress.

There a some top designers that offer 50’s style wedding dresses. Stephanie Allin  is definitely one of those designers.

 These 3/4 length dresses are absolutely gorgeous. It speaks of an era that was all about understated elegance.  All the while accentuating a woman’s curves in a very classy way.

Dresses via Stephanie Allin

 

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sneak peek :: Adrianna and John’s Wedding Invitation

I’m excited to be sharing with you a little sneak peek of a wedding invitation set I had the pleasure to design recently. This is for the wedding of Adrianna and John.

Now while I can’t share the finished set with you just yet (but soon!) here is one of the designed pieces.  Their chosen colors are absolutely stunning and work really well together; Sapphire Blue, Orange Flame and Silver.  All metallic colors and a paisley print.  I’m in love with their idea for wedding favors! Too bad I can’t show you just yet!

The picture below is from their engagement session captured by Daniel Boone photography and judging by his other work the wedding pictures are going to turn out fabulous!  We can’t wait to see it!  See even more of their adorable session right here.

 

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Bride and Her Bridesmaids Bridal Shower Invitation

A Bright and Simple Design for a Bright and Easy-Going Young Lady

 

But first have to thank Linda Rangel of Rangel Catering and Events for recommending me to her client. Ofelia Caballero is one of the most easy-going brides I’ve had the pleasure of working with. Not only is she getting married but she’s a recent graduate of Cal-State. Her bridal shower invitation is consistent with the colors of her wedding. She’s getting married Saturday….so wedding invitation will be posted afterwards…Congratulations Ofelia!

Four Tips For A Destination Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

A rehearsal dinner is an intimate meal for the immediate family members of the bride and groom, and for members of the wedding party. A destination wedding, however, can add a layer of etiquette complexity. While the rehearsal dinner is usually small and relaxing, you may have to settle for a bigger-than-normal dining experience for a destination wedding—to make guests who fly in, possibly from very long distances, feel welcome. Applying etiquette rules to a rehearsal dinner for a destination wedding requires thoughtful consideration of everyone involved.

Tradition

Traditional wedding etiquette makes the groom’s family responsible for planning and paying for the rehearsal dinner. Additionally, traditional wedding etiquette includes only the immediate family and the members of the wedding party. This means that the bride and her family should not add people outside of this group to this special dinner without first consulting the groom’s family. At the same time, the groom’s family should remember that a distant great-aunt of the bride who took the time to come to the wedding probably deserves a seat at the rehearsal dinner.


Geography

Geography plays an important part in rehearsal dinner etiquette for a destination wedding. If the destination is outside of the United States or in Hawaii, the bride and groom should go the extra mile for the guests. So, the groom’s family should consider including extra guests at the rehearsal dinner to make them feel welcome.

Size

Destination weddings tend to be smaller, for the simple reason that fewer people can travel to the location. If the wedding does not have more than 40 or 50 people attending, it might be possible to include everyone in the rehearsal dinner. In fact, for destination weddings, the rehearsal dinner can easily be a relaxing experience, a “night before” party, so that everyone is ready for the wedding the next day. No, the rehearsal dinner may not be traditional, but as the wedding itself is not necessarily traditional, there is no reason not to bend the rules a little.

Considerations

Because destination weddings are more challenging for everyone—from the bride and the groom to the guests that attend—the rules for the rehearsal dinner sometimes change. For instance, the bride and the groom might offer to host the dinner instead of the groom’s parents, as a way to thank everyone for coming to the wedding. At the same time, the bride and the groom should not assume this responsibility without first discussing it with the groom’s family to avoid unintentionally insulting anyone.

Whatever the decision is about the rehearsal dinner, the primary focus should be on relaxation and on making everyone feel welcome. Traveling to a distant location for the wedding is already difficult; add to this challenge that guests might feel awkward not knowing what to do while they wait for the wedding (particularly if the wedding is outside the U.S.), and hospitality is the key. The best decision might be for the groom’s family to arrange a small pre-wedding party or invite every guest to the rehearsal dinner.

 

5 Ways To Look Ten Pounds Thinner On Your Wedding Day

Five tricks for a longer, leaner you — minus the dieting.

I haven’t met a bride yet who doesn’t want to look her absolute best on her wedding day. It’s just so hard to keep to a regular workout routine. Fortunately there’s an article over on the TheKnot that gives a few shortcuts you might want to try out.

 

Flatter Your Figure

Though alterations will ensure your dress fits, choosing a wedding gown that shows off your best assets (and camouflages your less-than-fab spots) will make sure it flatters. Trying to hide your hips? Go with a romantic empire waist gown or a strapless, full-skirted style. Want to suck it all in? A corseted ball gown is a great option to show off your bust, whittle your waist, and hide hips and thighs. And if you want to show off your curves (or create some), try a mermaid-style gown. A good bet for every body type: an A-line silhouette, which fits at the bust and waist with a skirt that gently flares out from the hips.

Get a Good Support System

Undergarments that fit well are key to a sleek silhouette. To avoid the dreaded bra bulge and create the right amount of cleavage (nothing that will scandalize the grandmas!), get a professional bra fitting to be sure you’re wearing the right size. Then, buy a few bras — check the store’s policy, but you can generally return them with the tags — so you can try them on with your gown and find exactly the right one.

If any part of the lower half of your gown is fitted, invest in some good shapewear. Our favorites are made by Spanx — they’re lightweight, breathable, and come in tons of colors and styles. They’re also available in different materials, so you can find garments that won’t cling to your gown’s fabric but will still nip and tuck you in all the right places.

Stand Up for Yourself

Proper posture can make a big difference in how you look — and don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you have to stand at attention all day long. A couple of simple tips can keep you upright and looking svelte. First, keep your shoulders back. If you find your shoulders slouching forward (totally natural if you’re tired or nervous!), shrug them up toward your ears a couple of times to loosen yourself up and shift your shoulders back.

Second, try to keep your back straight. Again, the secret is in your shoulders — you should feel like there’s a straight line dropping from them to your hips. If one starts to get ahead of the other, shift yourself and realign. Remember, it’s not about standing still all the time — that’s actually more likely to make you slouch! Instead, shift your weight as it feels comfortable to do so, keeping the position of your shoulders and hips in mind from time to time.

Give Your Height a Boost

We’re not going to lie and say they’re comfortable, but wearing heels is one of the simplest ways to appear thinner. Think about it: Say you’re normally five feet, four inches and you weigh 140 pounds. Put on a pair of two-inch heels and suddenly you’re five feet, six inches — but you still weigh 140 pounds! It’s not just about having longer legs; heels instantly trick the eye into reapportioning your weight over a taller frame. Worried about foot fatigue? Skip the spindly stilettos and go for something with more support, like a wedge heel, and don’t push it too high — no more than three inches.

Strike the Right Pose

Your wedding photos are how you’ll remember your wedding day, so ensure you’ll remember that you looked fabulous! Keep your shoulders back, and flatter your jaw line by pushing your chin forward. If you can, keep your body slightly turned — you’ll look slimmer than if you’re facing straight at the camera. The most ideal look is to tilt your shoulders toward the photographer with your hips on an angle, which makes your waist and hips look instantly narrower.

Especially key for brides? Hold your arms slightly away from your body rather than pressing them against your sides. It can be tough (especially if you’ve been holding that bouquet all day!) but it makes a huge difference. While it seems like a lot to keep track of, don’t forget that you can practice! With all of those prewedding parties, you’re going to have your picture taken pretty often — take advantage so that on your wedding day you can give ’em your best shots.

Read more: How to Look 10 Pounds Thinner On Your Wedding Day

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You can thank Tiger Woods for this one: Introducing the Anti-Cheating wedding ring!

 

It leaves an “I’m Married” imprint on the finger that can’t be as easily removed as the sacred symbol that made it.

 

 

8 Ways To Keep Your Wedding Guests Happy

 

When you start planning your wedding, you will be consumed with details that might take months to complete. Think about it. You’ve got to make decisions about the ceremony, receptions, rehearsals, attendants, flowers, food, music, your dress, decorations, a honeymoon to plan and wedding guests to accommodate, to name just a few.

Don’t Make Them Travel Too Far

Think about the logistics of your wedding, your reception and the hotel/motel accommodations you’ve arranged for out-of-town guests. Since popular site bookings for weddings tend to fill up early, it would be a good idea to book your wedding site, reception hall and the overnight accommodations for your guests as early as possible in order to get them reasonably close to each other.

 

 

 

Pass on the receiving line

Thank each guest for coming during the reception (table by table or as a toast) and don’t hold up the party by having a receiving line. Trust us, your guests will appreciate not having to wait around after the ceremony.

 

 

 

Plan Your Menu Carefully

Food is another possible mistake at your reception.  Your guests will be hungry and hors devours and a supply of cold soft drinks will be welcomed by those who arrive at the ceremony before the bride and groom. If you are serving the traditional reception meal, stick to customary food. You will be serving a meal to many guests with many different tastes and tolerances for food. Your taste for exotic dishes or ethnic selections will not be a hit at your reception with children and those with tender stomachs. Any caterer can help you with your food selection. It might be a good idea to send a request for information about any food allergies to your reception guests along with your invitation.

 

The Never Ending Speech

While guests appreciate the sentiment of wedding speeches, sometimes they can be too much of a good thing. If you have many people speaking–even if the speeches are good ones–it can become boring for the guests. Harsh? Perhaps. True? Definitely. Keep it as short and sweet as possible and should be refreshing for guests to hear.

 

Two Strangers and a Wedding

Nobody likes being at a table of strangers. A table where strangers are all seated together will be very uncomfortable for your guests.  You should attempt to strike a balance and arrange a mixture of guests where everyone knows a few people at their table. This way everyone will feel comfortable chatting with him or her and have a great time at the reception.

 

Stick To Your Timeline

Sticking to your time frame will keep prompt guests happy. Consider hiring a wedding planner.  They keep you on track. They live by their calendar, their lists, and their plans. They are super organized and make sure that you are always on track and on schedule with your wedding plans. They are the “mothers” of the wedding world.  Don’t write the start time on your wedding invitation as 4:30pm if you really meant the ceremony to start at 5 pm.

 

 

I Can’t See Who I’m Sitting With

Table centerpieces are a key element to dressing your room although they can sometimes cause issues for your guests. Choose low floral arrangements or something high with a thin stem so that the main arrangement is above eye level. This will make it easier for everyone on the table to see and talk to each other, helping them feel involved in the conversation.

 

 

 

 

We have to pay for our drinks?

Having a cash bar, is a big don’t. All ceremony and reception costs should be covered.  If the bar is breaking your budget, scale back by limiting what type of alcohol is served.  Most guests feel that if they are going to the time and expense of attending your wedding, the least the happy couple can do is make sure they don’t have to peck their way through the Chicken Dance stone cold sober.

3 Alternatives to Wedding Cakes

Wedding Trends: Alternatives to Wedding Cakes

You may have noticed that wedding cakes tend to take center stage at a wedding reception, as the cake is a symbol that is prominently displayed at wedding receptions. What you may not have noticed is that many wedding guests do not like wedding cake and so the slices of sugary decadence often end up in the trash. If you’re looking for a couple of ideas to replace the wedding cake, or to serve in addition to the wedding cake, here are few ideas to get your creative juices flowing.

 

The Cupcake Makes a Comeback (with a Twist)

Around the country, couture cupcake bakeries are popping up everywhere. These are not your standard Betty Crocker cupcakes either because they come in flavors and designs that almost look and seem too gorgeous to eat (but are as delicious as they look). Cupcakes can also be displayed to simulate cake layers, placed at each place setting or designed into a cupcake buffet table, where guests can choose the flavor they wish. You can just as easily create your own cupcakes (for you DIYers out there) and put them on display. It may be nostalgic of days gone by or something different, but those cupcakes will disappear faster than any slice of wedding cake ever will.

 

Dessert Buffets

Another option is a wedding buffet or dessert table. Similar to a buffet restaurant, several different dessert options are put on display. Guests can either serve themselves or you can have the wait staff visit guest at their tables and ask which dessert they prefer. Pies, tarts, cakes, ice cream, cookies and more are but some of the options you may have on display.

 

Cookie or Candy Table

You can also pile a table high with platters of cookies or a myriad of dishes filled with different kinds of candies. Guests can fill up on the sweet treats after the meal and you can even provide favor boxes or bags for guests to take the treats home with them to enjoy later.

 

The wedding cake is a time-honored tradition. Modern brides and grooms, or couples that are looking to put a new twist on an old tradition, are seeking ways to offer wedding desserts in an innovative manner. Cupcakes, dessert buffets and dessert tables are but a few of the ways to put a new twist on an old way of doing things.

Sources:

  1. Phoebe’s Cupcakes
  2. The Pink Cakebox
  3. Ashley’s Bride Guide
  4. Beams Sweets Treats


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Today Is My Anniversary

We were married 14 years ago today.

We thought we knew what we were signing on for. We had a plan. If we would just stick to it we figured we couldn’t go wrong. But really, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.   What a surprise it was, once we got married, to find out that we were in over our heads. We thought we were in agreement on money and family issues. Together we have been through lots of mountain highs and plenty of valley lows.

But life doesn’t always work out exactly as you plan.  Sometimes it turns out better than what you could have imagined.  Through all the changes and lost dreams new ones take their place. And a partnership emerges that isn’t based on some pre-scripted end state but a winding journey that twists, turns and entangles us until we’re one couple that’s stronger than either of us would be on our own.

Money can’t buy this. Material things can’t replace this. Fame or popularity is empty compared to this.  Having a happy, fulfilled, blessed marriage, and family, is the most wonderful thing in the world.

For those of you who were there with us (or in the same town but slept through it) on May 23, 1998, and who have been a part of these past fourteen years, I thank you.  For those of you who are newly married or facing tough times, keep working at it until it’s right. It can get better. For all of you, near or far, who have trusted me with your friendship, and who have believed and supported me through the years, I thank you. My life is richer because you’re in it.

So, as I sit here in Maui looking out at this astonishing view, I am delighting in the joy of my marriage. I am enjoying the fullness of now.  I’m not waiting to live. I am not hoping to live. I am not planning to live. I am fully alive, Right Now. Alive with love, filled with gratitude, and overwhelmed by God’s goodness and favor.

Happy Anniversary to my husband!  I can’t wait to see what the next years will bring.

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